“Traveling is like flirting with life. It’s like saying, ‘I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station.’” – Lisa St. Aubin de Teran

Without a doubt the number one reason why I love to travel and live abroad is because it forces me to learn more about myself. I gain a deeper understanding of myself and the world in general. Today I briefly want to describe how traveling can help you go through an inner transformation.

There comes a point in a long term travelers’ journey where they begin to question many things, they may begin to feel as if they are losing themselves.

I want to try and point out that if you do find your self in this position, to not be afraid. Being in this space is an opportunity for amazing growth. I will try and offer some guidance on what you can do to learn and expand from this experience.

How Does Traveling Help You Grow As a Person?

“I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.” – Mary Anne Radmacher Hershey

Much of your experience depends on how different your environment is from what you’re used to. If I am American but move to London, sure I am going to have a great time, but the transition will be fairly painless.

Moving to a completely different country in which your clearly out of your comfort zone is key. In This type of situation you will encounter many things for which you have no reference for. This automatically puts you in a different level of awareness, you’re forced to be alert, and you can’t rely on your old knowledge. This heightened sense of awareness will allow you to see things you never saw before, in yourself and the world.

Since everything is new and if you can’t speak the language you are automatically forced to try and make sense of it all. Typically our attention and energy is going out into the world. Now if you stay watchful you will see your attention going inward.

Embarking on Your Inner Journey

For many of us we have never really looked inside ourselves. But now we have nowhere to hide, we need to look. This is the point where you will become really intimate with the ideas you have of yourself, of your ego, which you may have been really identified to, and derived your sense of self from.

Your ego is essentially your self image; it’s the mask you display to society. Your ego only survives by constantly seeking approval from that which it wants to identify with. This is the society you are raised in. Therefore all the unhappiness you experience comes from the constant battle of your ego seeking approval in the outside world.

What happens when your family, friends, and your typical environment is not there to reinforce the ideas you have of your self? They become shaky; they start to lose their grip on you. Living in the unknown your ego falls apart and the real you begins to emerge.

“Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.” – Alan Keightley

You will begin to challenge and question everything you have ever believed. If you don’t run away and use this as way to grow, you will see that all your beliefs belong to society, they where never really yours. This can be extremely scary, liberating, nauseating and a million other things all at the same time.

Now you may come to a point to where you feel completely lost, everything you once knew is now seen as an illusion. But simultaneously also get a tremendous feeling of freedom, freedom from all that was false. Now your journey really begins.

If you keep trucking along, losing and questioning many of your beliefs will lead you to develop trust in yourself. Trust is something society can’t give you; trust comes from your own experiences. You may even feel a new quality or type of consciousness growing in you. Keep walking my friend; this is your opportunity to live a life of awareness, a life of authenticity. You can only be authentic through your own understanding. Developing your trust will give you the courage to continually make the leap into the unknown.

The Key Skill That Traveling Can Instill is Observation

Traveling can help you to constantly be in state of observation, a watchful state. Learning to watch is the key in learning about oneself. You need to learn to be a passive observer of your mind, of your thought process. You learn that to control and suppress only leads to inner conflict. Just by constantly remaining in a state of aloofness, you will see how the number of thoughts you have naturally comes down. You will be living in a meditative state; meditation is simply the art of learning to watch.

Learning to watch you’re mind you will come to know its positive and negative tendencies, learn from them. You may even feel like you are turning on yourself. Expanding your consciousness will allow you to see your own faults; you bring them out into the light. Don’t feel bad, just by seeing them clearly they will begin to fall on there own. They where only existing because you where unconscious of them.

Developing a quite mind will allow you to catch glimpses of really being in the here and now. For the typical tourist they may be under the Eiffel Tower but they are still thinking of things from back home, along with all the anxiety that that brings. Then when they are back at home, their experience of the Eiffel Tower is vague, it’s vague because they where not really present.

Continuing Your Growth

I would advise anyone to incorporate meditation daily into there lives. If you are new to meditation as a general guideline try and meditate one minute for every year of your age. If you are 26, meditate 26 minutes daily.

If you know nothing about meditating educate your self and find something that works for you. The easiest method is “Vipassana”, which is just learning to watch your outgoing and incoming breath. Like I said earlier, mediation is the art of learning to be a detached witness, yet being very alert, having a sensitive mind.

Incorporating daily mediation will help you become more even minded, and cultivating your ability to observe and be a witness to your daily life.

I am currently working on a small yet in depth guide on how to practically practice meditation in our lives, if you would like to know when its finished sign up for my newsletter.

In traveling and living abroad learn to be with your silence. When you are bored don’t escape into entertainment like TV and internet. Remember that you don’t know how long you will be in your host country, make the most of it. Go on a walk and get lost in your city, there is always something you can be doing and learning.

If you are thinking of traveling abroad, I hope that I inspired you to go on a quest of personal growth. Wishing you the best….God Speed my friend.

If you enjoyed this post please help me out by passing it along to your friends. tweet it, facebook it, stumble it.

P.S. Check out the new travel blog flightster which is shaping up to be a great resource for travel enthusiasts.

Thank you for stopping by “The Extraordinary Self Development Blog” of  Ivan Campuzano

Its Time To Spread A Little Love

Let me ask you a question, how do you feel when a stranger stares at you? Are you at ease or do you feel uncomfortable?

Currently I am living in Busan, South Korea where I can run around all day and not see another foreigner. I stick out like a sore thumb. Being in an environment where everyone is constantly staring at you as if you are an exotic species, you quickly learn to not let it bother you.

I meditate a lot so I am always trying to live my day to day life from a very meditative and mindful state. This is to try and live from the deepest part of my inner being, the part that remains totally unfazed with the outside world. I can be in a totally crammed subway, yet feel completely at ease, even If I have someone breathing down my neck, inside I am 100 feet away.

“Our task must be to free ourselves…by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.” - Albert Einstein

Its like being in the world, but not of it, just a witness to the miracle that is our planet. Living from this space one feels an overwhelming sense of love, of oneness, and consequently you feel it overflow and exit through your eyes.

It’s All In The Eyes

Next time you find your self on the subway or any other public place, try and find that place inside you that is utterly still, and from that place look out into the world. Feel the love inside, don’t think just feel, feel the boundaries between you and the world melt.

Look at someone simply, which is to not let your thoughts come between that which you are observing, otherwise you are only seeing an image your mind constructed and not the thing you are seeing. You are seeing something conceptually not actually. You are not making contact with it, when you are seeing something simply you are making a direct connection with it.

This is seeing in a loving way, you can observe this within yourself. Anytime you see a beautiful flower, a bird dancing on a branch, or a beautiful sunset you are doing it in a loving way. The energy and quality of your look is different.

Today when I was sitting on the subway I caught an older gentleman starring at me, I starred back because I welcomed it. I looked at him simply and just smiled, he smiled back…we kept looking and right when he felt my look was penetrating him, he blushed then looked away and broke contact.

The Doorways To Our Souls

Our eyes are really doorways to our souls, this is why its rude to stare at people, they feel like you are invading their space, their privacy, that you are trying to take a peek at their deepest darkest secrets. But since I am trying to be open to the world, I welcome it. When you make a connection with someone through the eyes it’s as if you merge into each other, but it happens so quick that many of us just brush it off.

This also doesn’t have to turn into an awkward experience, just look out into the world in a loving way. You can make a tiny connection with a random stranger on the street in a split second. Just spreading a little love. You will immediately know the people who where open and receptive to it. You can tell right away when someone is getting uncomfortable, so just look away. If they welcome it, send your silent love and intention through your eyes, all this can happen in less than a second. If you don’t do this already, just try it, I would love to hear about your experience in the comments.

Just learn to constantly be In a state of observation. You will see that if you know how to look, a persons eyes can tell you a lot about them and the way they are feeling.

Just want to thank you for taking the time to read my post. I hope you found it insightful and that it inspires you to spread a little love.

If you enjoyed this post please pass it along to your friends. tweet it, facebook it, stumble it

“Life is uncharted territory. It reveals its story one moment at a time.” - Leo F. Buscaglia

Awakening Your Intelligence

If you really want to see your natural intelligence in action, its time for you to take an adventure. Adventure entails going into the land of the unknown. A land full of excitement, danger, embracing the total uncertainty of life – this is the essence of living.

To really go on an adventure requires great courage, trust, and intelligence.

“Life is either a great adventure or nothing.”- Helen Keller

Examine why it is that you have this sense and need for adventure in your life. For many of us we have become slaves to routine, to society, to worldly obligations. Routines kill your natural intelligence because it does not require it, it simply needs an unconscious mechanical reaction. You just run through the motions, it’s a silent death.

True intelligence is your ability to respond to life in the moment, with an answer that is new, fresh. This is how you grow trust in your self, because it is understanding from your own experiences. By not actively engaging in your intelligence, when life throws a new situation at you, you are not quite sure how to proceed.

When I replay in my mind what it is to live an adventurous life, memories of being inspired, spontaneous, and actively engaged in the moment dominate my mental screen.

Spiritual Adventure and Living Through The Heart

We have come to become too head oriented, which means to live a life of pure logic. We have just become more intellectual, but this is not to be confused with intelligence. The problem is that life is illogical and paradoxical, this requires one to live through the heart. Living through the heart a different dimension of intelligence is at play, you can’t really explain it, it’s your own inner sense. We need to go from less thinking to more feeling, we have forgotten how to feel, hence why life seems so empty and meaningless to many of us.

To live a life of adventure is to live from the heart, knowing how to listen to your inner sense, that which is alive and connected to reality. Putting your thinking mind aside and becoming immersed in your inner space.

Listening and moving with your heart you will fall many times because you just want to experience the unknown, doesn’t matter if it’s pleasant or not. But each time you fall, you get up and become stronger; these are the experiences in which you really grow. Learn to respect your own inner voice and follow it.

When you follow it, be prepared that it will also take you into what you perceive as wrong. This is life the only way you know what right is, is by experiencing the wrong. Too many people live their lives only by what other people or religion tell them is the right way to live. Living like this you are not able to move, because something wrong might happen.

The most important thing is just to be open, life will reveal many things to you, even if it doesn’t make sense at the time. You may come to question everything you have ever known, be prepared to drop all that is false that is within you. Much of your understanding you may not even be able to express in words but will manifest its self as a deep inner knowing. Hopefully through your adventure you will come to a better understanding of your true self and the world. Then everyday will be an adventure.

Thank you for reading my article, I hope that it inspires you to live a life of adventure. This world truly is an amazing place the moment you live through your heart. Everything you see in this world is ultimately your own interpretation, by living from the heart you will begin to see everything as divine. You will begin to lose your feeling of being separate and begin to see and feel oneness with everything. In short you will feel alive, and how beautiful is that

“Becoming conscious is of course a sacrilege against nature; it is as though you had robbed the unconscious of something.”  ~Carl G. Jung

“I met a lot of people in Europe.  I even encountered myself.”  ~James Baldwin

As I am writing this I am in a TomNToms coffee shop listening to some chill Spanish music, feeling like I am once again in Europe. One quick glance reminds me that I am surrounded by only Koreans, not some cute Spanish chica named Penelope, but don’t get me wrong Korean girls are extremely cute as well

Beam Me Up Scotty

As I take a sip of my coffee, it hits me, as if a strange energy slowly descended upon me, this energy is the penetrating realization that I am “here”. I have been in South Korea for 5 months, but this feeling is one as if I just got teleported here this instant.

What is this strange feeling that many travelers happen to encounter, yet may not exactly know whats going on, or where its coming from?

This feeling is the one of becoming self aware, becoming aware of your own awareness. Typically we live in our own self imposed bubbles, where we our lost in the conceptual images of our mind. We think we are conscious and awake but the reality is that we are asleep, and don’t realize we are asleep.

This the first step to becoming more conscious is realizing your asleep in the first place. This is very difficult because you need to experience what it is like to be truly aware and awake in the world, you need contrast to be able to compare different states of being.

Try this small experiment, sit in your couch and just simply try and remember your self for 5-10 minutes, this means just keeping your attention to the feeling of being alive. Just feeling and acknowledging the living presence inside your body.

How long can you keep your attention here and now without your mind going off on some mental tangent? This will show you the level of your being, if you where truly self aware this would not be difficult, you could keep your attention on whatever you chose without it going in other directions, true will power.

Are You Taking Your Life For Granted?

Living unconsciously we take for granted the most important thing in this world, which is our life, the simple acknowledgment of our existence, the feeling of “I am”, just pure simple being.

Like I mention in my blog, my main concern in life is to become fully awake, to live life with an unconditioned mind, to die psychologically to the past every single day. To have a mind that is young, fresh, new. A mind that does not carry the burden of the past. If you are able to have a mind that is totally free, being self aware is your normal state.

This path is extremely arduous, but I enjoy it so much because I am constantly learning, becoming more aware, more alert, less divided.

This is the reason why I have not been able to stop living abroad, I have used it as a way to experiment with everything I learn on a daily basis.

Knowledge Is Not Enough: Participate In Life

In trying to transform yourself, knowledge is not enough. One can possess an enormous amount of knowledge and yet not be able to do anything with it. You can actually create more problems, by knowing too much. You need to live your life and create the situations in which you will truly grow.

You can read a manual on fixing engines and know it forwards and backwards, but until you actually attempt to fix the car your knowledge wont even begin to show its value.

How Traveling Helps You Grow

“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” Alan Alda

When you become exposed to an environment that is completely different, that is out of your comfort zone, what happens….even if its for a split second is that you stump your mind. What does this mean? This means you stop the movement of your mind, or rather it stops movement on its own.

If you ever observe your mind, you will see that all it is, is a constant never ending thought process, which is to say the mind is just movement. This never ending movement consumes so much energy, so much that it can lead to stress and depression.

What happens when your mind stops moving? You become extremely quite, utterly still, in this stillness you are free to observe without any dissipation of energy, in fact you accumulate energy. This energy is what causes you to feel extremely alert, yet calm and relaxed, like you just had 10 Red Bull Energy Drinks without any of the side effects. This energy is what helps you transform and go beyond your previous unconscious tendencies. You start encountering your true self. Living in moment is delightful and beyond any description I can give.

It takes a huge amount of self understanding to know that this is whats taking place. People who just catch these glimpses simply know that they like it and want more of it. This is another trick of the mind, the mind always wants to know, wants a logical answer, so it may say to you that the reason you feel like this is only because of traveling.

So now you might become a travel junkie because you want to keep experiencing these feelings. Anything the mind derives pleasure from, it seeks to continue it. This is a game you will never win.

You need to be able to see that it’s not the traveling that gave you this feeling of bliss, but that your mind became still, your new environment simply gave you a friendly push.

It’s not a question of constantly seeking new experiences with travel, but how can you make your mind quiet. Then every day is “full of life” no matter where you are or what you may be doing.

I Need Your Help

I am currently starting to work on a small guide to meditation, where I hope to demystify what meditation is and how we can practically incorporate it into our lives. Please let me know if meditation is new to you and what questions or challenges you have had in trying to meditate. Leave your comments below, I will try to address them in the near future.

Thank you so much for reading my blog, If you find it useful please help me out by spreading the word.

“You’re only as good as your last haircut.”-Fran Lebowitz

Hey YOU! Get a Hair Cut!

If you’re a long term travel junkie like me, inevitably there will come a point when you need to look decent, quit scaring the locals, and get a hair cut.

Unless you cut your own hair, this can be an interesting experience depending on your language abilities.

Every country has their own ideas on what it deems stylish and appealing, so unless you like getting a fro hawk in the Czech Republic, you better know how to ask for the style you want.

If your language skills don’t suffice, the easiest is to take a few good pictures with different angles of your most stylish cut, and load them on your I-Phone or any other hand-held device you may have. Make some funny faces even, get the other person to laugh when they see them. Just come in, say hello and point to your phone. If they make a weird face, chances are they may not be able to pull off your cut. If they smile and give you the thumbs up, plop into the chair and hope for the best.

Three Quick Tips

Not knowing the native language can make for some awkward silence, to make it a more pleasant experience keep these few tips in mind.

1. Smile: Smiling is infectious, if you can’t speak to the hair stylist, get them in a good mood by flashing them a big smile in the mirror.

2. Be prepared to not get what you want: Don’t show your disappointment if your hair does not come out the way you expected. It’s another situation of being lost in translation. Just remember that sporting a goofy hair cut will now be a part of your adventure.

3. Try and communicate as much as possible: This is one more chance for you to use any words or phrases you may know. Don’t worry about sounding silly,the stylist will appreciate your efforts. Use and exaggerate your body language to get your point across.

If you experience a truly horrific hair cut, remember it’s not permanent, brush it off, maybe even literally . This will just be one more common thing that becomes a tad more difficult living abroad. Learn to embrace these little challenges, they will end up adding color to your day.

If you would like to know how to really learn to speak another language, check out my friend Benny’s unconventional “language hacking” course, on how you can become conversationally fluent in as little as 3 months. Benny speaks 8 languages fluently, so he knows a thing or two about learning to speak quickly. Currently I am learning Korean and his methods have already helped out greatly.

Hope you enjoyed my little post, if you did please pass it along to your friends.

(editors note: there are some affiliate links, if you decide to purchase you are directly supporting my dream of being a full time writer, thanks a bunch in advance)

“Risk-taking, trust, and serendipity are key ingredients of joy. Without risk, nothing new ever happens. Without trust, fear creeps in. Without serendipity, there are no surprises” Rita Golden Gelman

Today I am excited to  introduce you to my new friend Christine from almostfearless.com. Why am I excited? As many of you know, I love traveling and being independent, and Christine can help you achieve both.

I recently reviewed her ebook “Going Digital” on how to become a digital nomad. I can honestly say that I love her guide, Christine is honest and straight to the point. The guide is beautifully written and covers the essentials to becoming a digital nomad, allowing you to work from anywhere there is wifi connection.

Ever since Tim Ferris burst onto the scene  with his “4hour work week”, everyone started dreaming of a location independent lifestyle. But the reality is that even though so many people read it, very few made the jump. It can be overwhelming with the amount of information out there on creating this type of lifestyle, that many just become frustrated and give up.

Christine has been living and working abroad since 2008, so she knows what she is talking about. She quit her good job with a fortune 500 company, to pursue a lifelong dream of traveling the globe with her family. She initially did this by selling all her stuff and setting up her freelance writing business online.
Her Book Covers:

• Exactly what it is to be a digital nomad.
• Why you should and could become a digital nomad.
• Exploring the many options that may be available for you to go digital.
• Picking your digital career.
• How you may be able to turn your present job to a digital one.
• The positives and negatives of going digital and how you can overcome them.
• Starting a small business built around your talents or skills.
• Do you really have what it takes to live a location independent lifestyle.
• How to deal with the inevitable time differences.
• Once you reach your goal, how to make sure your in this for the long haul.

So If you are ready for a change and you are willing to work hard, make sure you check out her guide and make the leap into the land of adventure. Plus its only 13 bucks, which is a small investment that could radically change your lifestyle for the better. Click Here To Check It Out Now.

(editors note: these are my affiliate links, if you decide to purchase you are directly supporting my dream of being a full time writer, thanks a bunch in advance)

“Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life.”-Pythagoras

With every goal you have in life, people will always be a critical part of it. How fast you reach your goals depends on how well you deal with people and the level of influence you have on them. In order to really influence people you must become a person who is likable.

How do you become likable? You must have a sincere interest in other people. Every person on this earth wants to feel important, so you need to treat everyone with the up most importance, because they deserve it. Remember no one is better than you and you are not better than anyone, we are all human beings who deserve the same amount of respect.

Becoming Likable: Setting the Stage

Your goal in meeting people should be to consciously be the first to initiate and set the stage for conversation. Most people are hesitant to be the first, don’t be like most people step out of your comfort zone. I know that if you are a shy person that this can be one of the hardest things for you to do, but the more you do it, the more you condition your self for it to become second nature.

As a small kid I used to be really shy but I noticed that the kids that where outgoing tended to be the happier kids, so I began to step out of my comfort zone and now I feel I can walk up to almost anyone. This is going to take time; things don’t happen over night but don’t let this discourage you. Many people feel that for you to become proficient in something takes around five years. Don’t waste anytime, start today and each day after that will get easier.

Each different experience will later serve as a reference to remind you, that you can approach almost anyone. By being the first to initiate conversation you also automatically have a certain degree of control, you are able to draw people into your own rhythms. Have you ever noticed how persuasive people are able to seduce you to their ways, dictating your body language and basically synchronizing it to theirs? This is because people naturally imitate other people as a way of communicating with the other person. So if you are the first you get to decide what angle to approach. If the person you are approaching appears sad, approach them with a big confident smile. Odds are they will slowly begin to smile; you will automatically change their mood. Now you will have a better chance of having a better conversation.

In setting the stage you will need to train your self to pick up any subtle signals that the person you are approaching is giving off. With time you will be able to sum up a person in a blink of an eye and from what your subconscious catches use it help you set the stage. This will require you to have an open mind and immerse your self in as many different worlds and cultures as possible. That’s why I never limit my self to one particular set of friends. I have friends from all sorts of backgrounds. I have friends who are skaters, basketball players, artists, musicians, writers, etc. By having so many friends with diverse interests I quickly learn about their worlds.

By knowing what kind of stage to set up you will know how to get the other person to think very highly of you. For example by being observant you will catch the subtleties in the way a person appears to be (The way he is dressed, body language, tone of voice, language, etc.) which will help you to imagine placing your self in there shoes. By really imagining what being that person is like it will give you a good idea of how he/she is feeling. This in turn helps you get a better idea of what appproach to use when trying to communicate effectively with them.

When I am able to pick up persons subtleties I will know what topics, questions, and general things that appeal to them which gives me information to work with in the process of winning that person as a friend. Like if know this person is really passionate about cars, I will ask a question with the minimum knowledge I have about something that he knows or thinks he knows a lot about.

Now you set the stage for Mike who will love to tell me exactly why the Mitsubishi EVO is better. When someone is knowledgeable about something it’s in their nature to tell you because it is one more opportunity for them to show how great or smart they are. You have to cater to their ego and never test or contradict their ideas, because their ego will not accept someone who is supposed to know less tell them they are possibly wrong. If I would have told him that I heard that the Subaru WRX is better, we would have just gotten in an argument that he would not have backed out of. But I didn’t and now they will love me for it, because I was taking interest into what he enjoys. Nobody wins in an argument.

The Importance of Body Language

Whenever you approach someone for the very first time your body language will do most of the talking and the other person will immediately have a first impression of you. So you must always be aware that whatever you say your body is also in agreement. If you say one thing and your body says the opposite you will come out as someone fake. We have all seen the girl that walks up to another girl and says “I’m so happy to see you…how you been?….you look so good…” but their body language is saying “what are you doing here….I’m not really listening to what your saying” this is easily seen and can be one of the rudest things you can do in trying to make new friends.

Always approach someone with open gestures and a smile. If you approach someone with crossed arms, this will automatically make the other person defensive and question your motives. Approach them with open arms and a gentle smile, smiling is infectious if the other person has a stern look on their face the moment you approach them with a smile you will gradually notice that they will smile too. This usually sets it up for a good conversation because both people are in good moods. Try this – if you’re in a neutral mood right now, put a big smile on your face for no reason if you pay attention you can feel your body changing and your mood immediately start to change. People who are in good moods will place a lot more importance to what you have to say.

Questions and Listening

Your next goal is to sincerely try to find out as much as you can about the person. Ask quality questions; find out what is important to the person, goals, beliefs, interests, etc. The key is to be sincere so the person feels comfortable and is more likely to open up. Try to have a calm demeanor refrain from being overly eager as this might scare the person. You must be able to match the mood of the person. If the person is excited to tell you a story you must become excited as well. If the person is telling you a sad story you must show sincere empathy. Be open minded and really listen to the person.

Listening: Try to listen at least twice as much as you talk. Listening requires more than just pretending to listen or simply hearing a person talk. Listening and hearing are two completely different things and the person can tell if you’re really listening to them, or simply hearing them speak. Being a good listener is a skill, you must become an active listener. Remember this is all about the other person, who cares if you don’t get to talk about your self. In the end the other person will love you for it. They will tell their friends “Man I really enjoyed talking to that person”….why is that? Was he a very interesting person? “You know what…I really don’t know why…I really don’t know much about him”

This shouldn’t bother you because in the end you greatly benefited from the situation as well. If you’re an effective listener you will gain a better understanding of that person’s thoughts, perspectives, feelings and actions. You have to remember that most people would rather talk than listen, but most of the time this person is not very influential. Take this as an opportunity to become more persuasive and influential.

Sometimes the problem with most people is that listening to them doesn’t have much value. They feel that in order to get people to like them they must do a great deal of the talking. Think about that for a minute, how do you like it when another person is talking so much that when you try and say something they still keep talking. You eventually quit listening to that person because you got to annoyed. Now sometimes you don’t need to do most of the listening, you constantly need to evaluate the situation. Sometimes people really want to hear what you have to say. In this situation still try and get the other person involved and flip around the question that they just asked you.

People Who Talk Too Much

1. People always talk about them behind their backs.

2. In group settings they feel they always need to say something just to feel like they are contributing.

3. Usually have very big egos.

4. They ask questions that they already have the answers too.

5. Because they are so focused on having something to say aren’t even listening to what someone is saying.

People Who Listen Effectively

1. Get the whole picture, than they can act accordingly.

2. Everyone loves a good listener so you will make tons of friends.

3. No one talks bad about you, who ever said “man that kid just loves to listen too much”

Good listening is going to really take effort. The reason is that people can think a lot faster than people can speak. What ends up happening is that you begin to think of other things as that person is speaking. Than you become consumed with those thoughts. Next thing you know the other person asks you “So than do you think I did the right thing”. You weren’t listening so you have no idea what to say. This is one of biggest turn offs in trying to become friends with that person.

Things to Avoid When Listening

• Don’t Interrupt: Because you have the upper hand by thinking faster than someone who is speaking, you will become tempted to interrupt. Don’t because the other person will get the feeling that you don’t care what they are saying and want to bring back the topic of conversation to you. The other person might also have great momentum going in telling you a story, but when you interrupt them their story doesn’t carry as much feeling when they go back to speaking. You also show that you are one of those people who enjoy speaking more than being a good listener. When you interrupt you are also making assumptions of what you think the other person is about to say. This might cause you to miss out completely different information. Because you interrupted them the other person might not even want to continue telling you about it.
• Don’t Finish Other Peoples Sentences
• Don’t Offer Advice Too Soon

Compliments + Appreciation

The way to make people feel important is through sincere compliments and appreciation. Most people go out their way to do something, to get other people to notice them, yet most people don’t. Get in the habit of noticing the little things about people. In the end the little things are what matter and what end up making a person unique so pay attention. Next time you see them, be the first to give them a sincere compliment on something even as simple as their hair cut. By making other people feel good about them selves you should also feel good for doing it, it’s a win win situation.

Many times people walk around with the mentality that other people owe them something, nobody owes you anything. Whenever anybody does anything for you show your appreciation and let them know you don’t take anything for granted. Be spontaneous get the person a small gift when they don’t expect it.

Encouragement

Once you find out what is truly important to someone you must provide encouragement. Everyone has dreams and aspirations. Be the one who encourages them to pursue their goals. Any insight or information that’s empowering will provide a boost to their confidence. Most people are so afraid of failure that they will not pursue their goals. They will give you all the reasons why their goals are out of reach. Your goal should be to switch their focus on the negative reasons to the ways how they can make it happen. You have to remember that whatever we focus on becomes our reality, so when you focus only on the negative aspects that’s all you will see. When they give you a reason why they can’t do it, ask them if that’s really a reason or a mere excuse. If they are excuses show them how destructive it is to be in this mental state.

Make them realize that all their hopes and dreams are in danger all because of petty excuses. One of the best feelings you will get in dealing with people, is when you get another person excited about his goals or ideas. Now that the person is excited you need to point them in the right direction. Help them research the world they want to be in; find out as much relevant information. Help them create a plan and deadlines that will help them reach their goals. Start with small attainable goals, this will help them gain momentum and than move onto more challenging goals. By being active in the whole process you will build a deeper and more influential relationship with that person. He will not see you as a mere friend but as an ally in their journey to success.

Plan and Organize Social Events or a Traveling Adventure

One of the best ways to develop a meaningful experience with someone is through a social event. Whenever you participate in an event or trip your relationship with those people will become even greater. Some of my best friendships have come from traveling with other people I meet while living abroad. I meet people from all over the world who love to travel, so consequently we would end up taking trips together.

On these trips I made incredible bonds, because everyone was on an adventure of experiencing new things together. Experiences are usually magnified with more people involved. Just think about when you are watching a funny movie all by yourself ,you begin to laugh but than realize no one is there to enjoy the moment with you, and your experience is quickly diminished .

“Without friends no one would choose to live” Aristotle

Making friends does not need to be complicated, practice what feels good and natural to you. It was not my goal to change your personality, just to make you aware of things you have always known about. Just be genuinely interested in others, keep your ego in check, and enjoy learning from others. Having a good set of friends will add value to your life in more ways then you can imagine. Now quit reading this post and get out there and make some new friends.

If you find my site useful please help me out and pass it along to your friends.

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” – St. Augustine

It’s Time For You To Explore The World

I love to travel and so do most people, but the unfortunate reality is that most people don’t get to travel extensively or experience living abroad. Traveling to exotic countries used to be only reserved for the wealthy, but due to recent advances in technology and commerce, that is no longer true.

If you get creative you truly can live anywhere, and there is a huge swarm of people doing just that. I am one of those people.

“The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are.” – Samuel Johnson

What keeps most people from exploring the world besides money is there own self imposed limitations. Often times money is not the number one reason, even if they think otherwise.

If you get clear on why it is you want to travel, and is something you strongly desire to do, you will find a way to raise the money. The toughest challenge for most is removing their self imposed limitations or fears.

Today I would like to introduce you to my buddie Karol Gajda from ridiculouslyextraordinary.com. Karl has been a digital nomad for years, traveling all over the world and running his business solely from his laptop.

Karl’s recent goal is to help 100 people achieve as he calls it, ridiculous freedom, by helping them start a “freedom business”. I think this is an awesome goal, hence why I am trying to help him out by exposing his work to more people.

Today is the launch of his guide “How To Live Anywhere”, which is how he plans to reach his goal. I have gone over the guide and Karol does a great job of giving you the essentials and leaves out all the fluff. The guide is composed of his personal philosophy, the essentials of living and traveling abroad, and practical online business creation ideas to make your dream a reality.

So if you have always dreamed of traveling or living abroad but felt too overwhelmed with all the information that’s out there, Karol offers a great road map. You can be one of the 100 people, your just going to have to work your butt off, but trust me, its well worth it.

Head on over and check It out Click Here to check out the Guide. (editors note: these are my affiliate links, if you decide to purchase you are directly supporting my dream of being a full time writer, thanks a bunch in advance)